So I'm sitting at my computer feeling pretty down and out, blasting "Ache" by James Carrington, and trying not to cry. Yes. Ache is a song. And it's amazing.
My friends are going to the boy's house. I could go if I took the bus. That's what they're doing. But I don't like to take the bus alone cause I don't know what I'm doing. I'm a bus n00b and it's really pathetic and sort of embarrassing. Which also happen to be two key adjectives revolving around the general description of my personality. But I can't go for a more important reason. I've seen him 3 out of the last 5 days (Friday, Sunday, and Monday). And enough is enough. I can't be seeing him *this* much. I'm trying to cool it down a bit. Not cold turkey. But something.
Sorry this is depressing but I'm sad I'm not going. I'm sad things don't work out the way our feelings want them to work out and I'm sad that... well, we should all know why I'm sad by now (besides the fact that I'm too much of a politically correct person to write details of a person-to-person drama without the other party's knowledge). So I guess you can all just drown in a pool of your own curiosity. But don't worry, I'll be bobbing right there next to you for company. The sorrow waxes deep it seems.
You know what I miss? I miss like... thinking about *something else for a change. I miss literally dancing out of bed in the morning (which I sort of got used to doing). And I miss being the opposite of depressed. I liked that about me. I changed. And I know this isn't the same as how bad it was before. But I wish I could just... dance out of bed and mean it. Empty, lackluster dancing is just flailing to the beat of your own misery. I used to dance, you know?
I really hope you're not reading this, Skeller. If you are then I'm going to hit you and mean it. I took it off my youtube page cause of you. That's right.
The problem pieces of my Life Pie (I have 3) are squirting their juices onto every other piece! Including my art piece. And my health piece. (this pie analogy is a long, hilarious inside joke. The Life Pie has 8 pieces and everyone has one just so you know. ) Anyways my Life Pie really sucks the justin right now. That's another inside joke. It seems being elitist to you people, making you feel left out of this situation gives me some sort of... relief. I'm abusing you. Sorry.
Not really.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
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"He who has satellite dish!"
4 love drops:
i dont feel too left out. i got some things that give me some insight to the whole sha-bang... or however you spell it.
Don't you hate how one thing [or person] in life can change everything so drastically?
They can make you incredibly happy just by having a conversation with you or saying they like your hair that day, and they can make you so depressed just by not talking to you or talking to someone else instead of you or talking to that person before you...
Or something.
We shouldn't let people [guys] control our emotions like we're some sort of puppet who lets people take control so easily and willingly, and yet we can't help it. And when you give someone your heart, that's exactly what you're doing; giving them your strings to pull and manipulate.
Translation, I know how it feels. I don't know EXACTLY how it feels because you didn't make complete sense or say anything specific. And plus I've never been you & I don't know what you're going through. But I've gone through similar things and might currently be.
You should listen to the song 'We're all in this together' [not HSM. Eck.] by Ben Lee. It's much better c:
This is me commenting and not commenting at the same time. He speaks, yet he says nothing.
I love the way you write, that's all I wanted to say; you have a wonderful, beautiful, soulful style :)
"flailing to the beat of your own misery"
Nice line, there.
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